Deep within the bowels of the Internet, past decrepit Geo-Cities archives; below Live Journal post regarding your unwavering love for Hansen; tucked in a forgotten corner of a low-baud rate server, there exists a lively classifieds bulletin board.
However, this is no ordinary "missed connections", "soiled futon " market place. This is market for wonders, for forbidden objects found where brave men fear to tread. It is a market for outdated technological marvels, arcane works, eldritch objects from beyond the borders of the ordinary.
The denizens of these boards engage in a brisk trade, seeking to acquire or unload nameless horrors, insane robots from a nightmarish future, hire teams of blind ninja assassins, or just adopt a couple of genetic monstrosities.
The Moorsgate Media Twitter feed occasionally retweets requests that come across our desk. Below is just a taste of the terrifying and degenerate ads that populate these boards. Re-tweets are not endorsements.
Needed: wealth management professional specializing in immortality. Looking for long term relationship .
Needed: user manual for oblivion class doomsday device. #chaosclassified
Needed: #API documentation for Necronomicon. Unable to force quit hell portal generator in IE6. Concerned. #chaosclassified #SciFi #html5
Sale: cognitive enhancement device, side effects; increase in baseline #evil Instruction manual and box included.
Previous ads can be found here:
http://moorsgatemedia.blogspot.com/2014/01/chaos-classified.html
No comments:
Post a Comment